Sexy Teenager’s Drunk Stories

Sexy Teenager’s Drunk Stories

Sexy Teenagers are a pop punk band more importantly they are a really group of guys to party with. We sat down with a the group in an attempt to do an interview and just talked about getting drunk. So with out further ado, Sexys Teenager’s drunk stories:

Plus they are against Sexting, seriously NO SEXTING. 

You must have some great drunk stories.

John- If I remembered I would tell you.  I know I protected Andrew in
that corner of the road as he was throwing up.  I stood in front of him
with my arms up to block him from view.  Then he passed out at the bench
outside, and the rest is history.

Baja: The drunken stories are so consistently shitty, we are awesome at it.

Soberish Show

When’s the last time you played sober?

Chris: Does hung over and pretty stoned count …  March?

Andrew: I think it was the day after my birthday.  It was at the Flying
Squirrel we played with a bunch of actual teenagers.

Baja: He took a lot of naps that day.

John: You know those pews the have on the side of the room?  Andrew slept
on those up until we played then immediately after we played.

Baja: That was an important show to that’s the night we met Collin Bourne
and Sean Beard.  Andrew was woken up that night by Waves Crashing Piano

Inspiring an Album

Think your going to get your shit together to record?

John: We are actually almost through an album, we are recording with
Throughbred.  We have 8 out of 12 done and a scratch track that we will
give to homeless people.

Baja: We will give a CD and a dollar to every homeless man in the city,
let the homeless sell our CD’s for drugs.

John: Our fan base will be smelly but no smellier than your average
crust punks.  Homeless guy media blitz The album is called “Look at What this Cheese Cake has Done to Us.”

Is there a story behind that?

John: I bought a $30 cheese cake from Cheesy Eddies and did not
hear the end of it.

Chris: He decided he couldn’t go to the bar that night because he spent
all of his money on that damn cheese cake.

John: Yea, so we got real drunk and stoned.  I pulled out a fork and
started eating my cheese cake, everyone wanted to eat it and I was like
‘fuck no’ they gave me all sorts of shit about that cheese cake, I
wasn’t going to let them eat it.  Then they all grabbed forks and started
fighting over the cake.  It was bad, everyone was covered in cake, the
box was empty, and there was frosting everywhere.

Andrew and is roommate Dan, had a mouth full of cheese cake, cheeks
puffed out and cried “look at what this cheese cake has done to us!”

And the rest is history

The House is on Fire

John: We lived in the bottom half of a house, the top half was empty.  The
day of the house burning, I woke up at 7am to our landlords heroin
addicted husband arguing with a large local woman out front.  I’m sitting
out back later that day having some drinks on the back porch and heroin
eddy comes up and says “Hey man if you hear anything going on upstairs I
am just moving some furniture around.”

I was sitting around with my buddy Colt and we hear all of this
rumbling upstairs and the door opens.  At the time we were at war with
the squirrels, they kept breaking into our house and stealing our food.
So we had bb guns everywhere.

I grab a bb gun and point it at the door, but is the landlords husband
and he screams “get out of here the house is on fire!” now I have been
having some beverages at the time so I was thinking this asshole needs
help putting a fire out.  I walk outside all nonchalantly and just as I
step out the upstairs window explodes above us with flame and smoke.

Oh shit the house is on fire.  The cops came and saw all of our
paraphernalia, Red Cross put us in a hotel, and firefighters said he
wanted to party with us.

Andrew: I got a call from our friend down the road and he told me my
house was on fire.  I was like fuck you seriously what do you want, I
guess the house was on fire.

And the rest is history

Broken Bass and Broken Face

Chris: There was the time John drunkenly broke his bass.  We were at as
show and he tried to be the front man, grabbed the mic and stepped
onto the monitor.

John: No no no I tried to step into the crowd, I didn’t know the monitor
was there, took a step forward and face planted.

Andrew: Bleeding out of the back of his head, he did realize he was
bleeding, we didn’t figure it out until we were back home partying after
the show.

Andrew: A couple shows ago he fell into my drum set, he does it all of
the time, I’ve got real good at pushing him with one arm back to the stage.

John: why would you put those drums there?  Don’t you know that’s where I fall?

Punk Rock in Philly

John: JR’s in Philly we went down a couple weeks ago and played with my
brother’s band.  This place, the windows are boarded up, the door doesn’t
open, there is no sign, and it’s in a bad part of the city.  It is perfect.
There is no sign saying it’s the bar.

Andrew: We showed up at 5:30pm, load was at 8pm. immediately 15 Italians
turn to look at us.  Chris got molested and the dude bought us all drinks.

Chris: We were by the bathroom; suddenly a dude touches the back of my
knee then gives me a huge bear hug from behind and pats my chest.  He
shoots the shit for a bit then he buys us all a round of drinks.

Andrew: We were just getting to realize how much we like the place then
we smell something, look over to the end of the bar and there is just
this dude smoking a joint in the corner.  It was some super dank shit.  We
got plastered there; the whole place is covered in patches and old punk
merch.  It is one of the last punk hangouts in Philly.

The rest is history

No sexting.