Insomnaic Horoscopes

Insomnaic Horoscopes

The future is a dark desolate place, until now.
Aries (march 21-April 19) – You are just a rat in a maze, build a ladder.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) – Horoscopes are meaningless, life is meaningless.
Gemini (May21 – June 20) – Someone will celebrate when you die.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – the key to happiness will be found at Han Noodle.
Leo (July 23 – August 22) – All of you achievements will be forgotten.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)- Words hurt, including these ones. There is no safe zone.
Libra (September 23 – October 22) – Become a Mormon.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) – Are you in love? You might be haunted by thoughts of your beloved today. You also might be haunted and stalked by your future beloved tomorrow.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) – You need some time to get organised. Whether it is in your career, personal life, or time or organise the dead eyes souls trapped in your basement.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)-The moon is moving into the cycle for expressing your deepest personal fantasies. Stock up on Lube and full body gimp suits.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)- You will find the sugar daddy of your dreams.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20) – You will become the sugar daddy you have always hoped to be. Throw prenubs to the wind and get to it.

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