If there is room for a band, chances are the Sexy Teenagers have preformed there. For the last five years the pop punk maniacs have been tearing up any venue they could find. Bringing snakebites, Bills logos, and punk rock to the Northeast and Rust Belt. We caught up with the band to talk about touring, not getting stabbed, and Pokemon cards.
So we haven’t done an interview in three years… what you guys been up to?
Andrew: We bought Keaton’s van and have gone on tour a handful of times.
John: The nice thing is it has the same amount of miles on it now as when we bought it. So it gets really great mileage. We have had it and toured with it for years and it hasn’t gained a mile.
Baja: We got to play some shows with that van and we got to see a lot of the Northeast and the Rust Belt.
Chris: I think we have seen about 14 or 15 states.
How was the last tour you guys went on?
Andrew: Great, the van did not break down on that tour.
John: That was a big plus. We got a lot of good Pokémon cards.
Baja: We collect Pokémon cards on tour.
John: Whenever we sleep in a Walmart parking lot the next morning we go in to buy Pokémon cards and brush our teeth.
Andrew: We have stayed in some mighty fine Walmart parking lots while on tour. Walmart is key for touring because you can always find one and you can always stay there.
John: Especially in cities like St. Louis when someone offers to let you stay at their place and it is in the middle of the stabbing neighborhood. No thanks, I’m just going to drive to the next Walmart. Appreciate the offer though.
Baja: St Louis had a pretty nice stabbing neighborhood.
John: Of the stabbing neighborhoods it was one of the better ones.
Andrew: If there is one thing we don’t like on tour it is being stabbed.
John: When someone asks me about political issues I say, fuck political issues, lets talk about getting stabbed. I am against stabbings.
Chris: We don’t like sexting or stabbing.
How many cities was the last show?
John: Around ten. Rochester, Cincinnati, Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Louis, Nashville, Atlanta, Greenville, Pittsburgh. We have had trouble in Virginia and Buffalo. apparently Buffalo does not have shows on Easter because that city loves our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Andrew: Jesus is also against getting stabbed. But he will forgive you if you do.
So do you get people finding your music just based on your band name? It is definitely not a safe thing to type into Google.
Andrew: I think the NSA has its own Rochester division thanks to us.
Chris: The are probably wondering why so many people are looking for Sexy Teenagers in Rochester NY.
John: There are a few people who follow our Facebook page who 1. don’t live in America and 2. clearly do not understand that we are a band. We had someone comment our page recently asking if we were really sexy. I told them that it is wildly accepted that Baja is a boner surprise waiting to happen. Peanut shaped heads are a required taste, but it is what we have to offer.
Andrew: I usually just tell them we aren’t girls, we are a band. then send them a link to our merch. Buy our shit.
John: One girl sent us a message ad asked what was with all of the Sexy Teenager stuff. I told her we are a punk rock band from Rochester NY. Gave her a link. Ten minutes later she sent us a message back saying it was just OK.
What are you guys up to now?
Baja: We are about two thirds of the way through our next LP. We have up to eight songs.
Whats the name of the new LP?
Baja: Experimenting With Assplay.
John: A Time for Teens.
So you guys are really just trying to destroy my search history.
Andrew: We have also considered Mother May I.
John: We are mulling some things over.
Baja: Fun Fact: the next album is going to be mildly offensive but not for the reasons you think. We get a few pretty good fuck yous to certain people.
When can we expect the album to be released?
Chris:… When do you think it will be released?
Baja: We are hoping to make it a stocking stuffer at the very latest.
John: 2016 based on our track record though you can expect it some time in 2020. Its going to be Rochester’s ‘Chinese Democracy’.
If you had advice for bands on tour what would it be?
John: Have a mostly reliable vehicle. The sketchier vehicle the more money you should set aside enough just in case money to cover the cost. When our computer in our van blew it almost cost us the tour, it should have. We were lucky enough to find a garage where the guys were super fucking cool. They got the part for us and only charged us for the part.
Where did you break down?
John: Lovely Staten Island, NY.
Andrew: On our way to even lovelier New Jersey. Luckily we blew up off the express way instead of on it. If you are on the highway you need two tow trucks because one company specifically does the highway. So we pushed that fucker down an off ramp.
Baja: Book through bands and not venues. It is a lot easier to make a meaningful connection with fellow musicians than it is with someone who’s job it is to sell beer and entertainment on Friday nights. You will get paid better you will get better shows, no dramas.
Andrew: Check out their music, listen to their albums, message them talk to them that way when you get there you can have a really good time at the show. It shows when you play with bands and they don’t check out your music.
John: Plus you can bring them back to Rochester. Filthy Low Down just played up here and we knew them from playing down in Pittsburgh.
Baja: Get comfortable in your van. We had this magnificent sleeping menagerie. We had four spots to sleep and four of us. Thew best spot was on top of johns bass cab.
Chris: Also buy curtains for your van so people do not watch you sleeping in the Walmart parking lots. That was my favorite part.
Baja: Have a hobby. We were Pokémon Masters on the road.
How did the Pokémon thing get started?
John: Well we wanted to be the very best. The best that no one ever was. So we decided to catch them all. We came to a group consensus on having to catch them all.
Chris: I am six away from having them all.
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