It’s nearly common knowledge that there are a lot of things bartenders hate. There is etiquette that they expect everyone to adhere to and places for everything that they use. Those can be minor inconveniences though, when compared to the requisite jukebox.

Jukeboxes allow customers, (the idiotic masses of the general population) to pick songs and force everyone in the bar to listen to their choices. And then that guy, (the guy who jammed the last of his money into the jukebox) leaves and another guy comes in and plays the same damn song. For the bartender there is no escape. This results in songs bartenders hate:


Nickleback’s “Rockstar”: Not only is this song overplayed and annoying, the person who chooses this song to play with their hard earned dollar does not want to be a rockstar. Chances are, this person has no musical ability or talent and at best the pinnacle of his dreams is to be the drug dealer based out of the closest strip joint.


Tom Jones’ any song: It’s not funny, it’s not cute; it is torture. Unless you are a pleasantly plump older women wearing sequins you cannot convince me that you genuinely had a craving to hear Tom Jones while drink beer.


Foreigner’s “Dirty White Boy”: Yes, I know Lou Gramm was in Foreigner. I know Lou Gramm is from Rochester. Of course I know he’ so-and-so’s cousin: of course he is, he’s an Italian-American from Rochester, NY, he’s everybody’s cousin. I don’t know what a dirty white boy is exactly, but I’d rather not hear about it anymore.


The Obscure Song That You Want Everybody to Pay Close Attention To: This could be a great song, but in a bar, we hate it. Nobody knows it, which is fine, but the the person playing this song insists that everyone quiet down and wants the bartender to contemplate the lyrics. We don’t have time for this and now we have to keep the guys who were asked to quiet down from beating the jukebox master up.

Honorable Mentions:

“Shook Me All Night”- AC/DC

“Crazy Bitch”- Buckcherry

“I Wanna Rock N Roll All Night”- KISS

“Brown Eyed Girl”- Van Morison

The next time you take your two bucks up to the jukebox at your favorite bar, choose carefully. Take into consideration how many times a day the bartender may have heard that song, don’t use the jukebox to force your tastes on everyone. Choose something that fits the mood of the crowd and your bartender may give you points (maybe even buy you a drink) if you ask what they want to hear.